sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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