Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
