the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize