Porn is love you can see.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
