similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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