They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
