I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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