You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just had sex on a roof
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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