True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I have aggressive nipples.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
