You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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