I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
