i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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