just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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