My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
