All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
