i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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