I want to walk on stilts...naked
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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