i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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