Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
