I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
