we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
