My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
