idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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