so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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