he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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