so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I have tasted many bathrooms
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
