I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
