Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
