at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
