they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize