I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Randomize
