Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize