I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
