I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I touched a dick in church today
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
