just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
