Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
