Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
