This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
