ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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