I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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