I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
