here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm passing your future prison.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
