i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I intend to get homeless drunk
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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