i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
