Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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