Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
