I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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