we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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