if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
