wakey wakey hands off snakey
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
