Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
