he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
