In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
