this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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