it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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