I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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