The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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