Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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