do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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