There was a lot of him and a little penis
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
