Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
