well I can't set my house on fire every night
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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